census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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