yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
