That's intense
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
