is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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