Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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