I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
