i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
