I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
