i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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