Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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