My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
