i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
