Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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