My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
