I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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