I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
