remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
