So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
