please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
