Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
