So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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