Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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