Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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