I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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