READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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