im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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