I seem to have left my pride at pride
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize