Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
