Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
