Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
