miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize