you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
