I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
