Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize