You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Success! We fucked roommates!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
PANTIES FOUND
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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