Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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