no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
