Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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