carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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