Pregnant stripper...not hot.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
