grandma shit on top of the toilet
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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