I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize