I wish my penis had an off switch
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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