i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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