Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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