Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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