I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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