Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
