He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
