There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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