Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Your cock deserves a montage
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
