I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
