Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
