You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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