all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
