He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
