STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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