shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he wants to bone in the snuggie
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
