the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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