She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
