He kissed a someone with a penis
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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