these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
