Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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